Chasing Away the Sadness

He is truly my champion. Hasn't stopped sending me messages and always wishing me well and trying to remind me of what he thinks it is to him I wish to be. Quite confusing to the contrary actually...I am a dom for the most part and though my mind may switch I've not in a very long time. If I sway from my position as top dog than I leave myself open to being vulnerable and thus used, taken advantage of and perhaps allowing myself to be owned without satisfaction as my reward.

He is surely someone I have talked to more than any others and in light of the relationship we have its not one I thin will ever go anywhere anyway. That's the problem with fantasy, you wake up and realize its only just a dream. Sometimes those dreams can be good and sometimes they can be not so good. Are they exactly night-mares...not exactly but not my favorable way to sleep. I love waking to a smile, or in this case a wonderful message from Chase. He makes me smile even when he is very wrong and thinks he is right...he does keep my thinking about him in his own way. Recently told me he found my blog here and its what has made me return and post something about him now in this hour. Yes its 2:18 AM and I am here alone, its quiet and I recently have gone through a loss of a pet. Its made me not able to sleep for long. I don't know perhaps I am just feeling a little bored and know of nothing else I can do to keep myself occupied or make myself tire enough to attempt going back to sleep for a little while longer.

Funny how someone can be on your mind at a certain time of night for one reason or another. Its not that I want to talk to him its just he happens to be the one on my mind right now at this hour. On to the next thing, I will be watching YouTube videos and I will get over the thoughts in my mind at this moment and perhaps thinking about raw vegan fruit diets, Freelee the Banana Girl, Trisha Paytas and her Mukbang Videos, Jared Leto or whatever it is I get into watching.

Sweet dreams to all, especially my champion Chase!